Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses
were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to
the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt
fell asleep!'.

The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"

Use Your Mouse  (left and right) to try and keep the Drunk walking upright...How far can You make it? If You Play...Please let Us know Your Lengh of Walk...

http://www.captaincynic.com/thread/27934/the-drunk-guy-game.htm

After Several Tries I made it 56 meters...LOL

 

William and Mildred were married for 25 years. They decided to celebrate with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. William brushed her off rather rudely. Mildred objected, "William, she was nice, that young woman, and you were so rude."

"Mildred, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That sweet, young thing?

"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it." In their room, William called down to the desk and asked for Candie to come to room 1217.

"Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, okay?" She did. Soon, there was a knock on the door. William opened it and Candie walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.

"So, I see you're interested after all," she said.

William asked, "How much do you charge?"

"$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."

William was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25."

Candie laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."

"Well," said William, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye." After she left, Mildred came out of the bathroom. "I just can't believe it."

William said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner."

At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Candie came up behind William, pointed slyly at Mildred, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

                                                

  ...

> Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and
> every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that
> helicopter".
>
> Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50
> dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars".
>
> One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther,

> I'm
> 85 years
> old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another
chance."
>
> Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars
> is 50 dollars".
>
> The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal.
> I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the
> entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one
> word, it's 50 dollars."
>
> Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of
> fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks

> over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot

> turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get
> you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
>
> Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something
> when Esther fell out, but you know -- 50 dollars is 50 dollars."