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ChickenLittles


 B< )~
 

"Life is not a trip you can pack a bag for"
                          
Posted by LilLadyReg at 11:25 PM - 11 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Why Men Can Pee Standing Up....
 

Posted by LilLadyReg at 11:21 PM - 3 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 SAD NEWS ....
 

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. D espite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly mother, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads it.
Posted by LilLadyReg at 1:15 AM - 12 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Please Read for Your Own Sakes.....
 



Because of recent abductions

in daylight hours, refresh yourself

of these things to do

in an emergency situation...

This is for you,

and for you to share

with your wife,

your children,

everyone you know.

After reading these 9 crucial tips,

forward them to someone you care about.

It never hurts to be careful

in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :

The elbow is the strongest point

on your body.

If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide

in New Orleans

If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,

DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.

Toss it away from you....

chances are that he is more interested

in your wallet and/or purse than you,

and he will go for the wallet/purse.

RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car,

kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole

and start waving like crazy.

The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.

This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars

after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit

(doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.

DON'T DO THIS!)

The predator will be watching you, and this

is the perfect opportunity for him to get in

on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,

and tell you where to go.

AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,

LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

If someone

is in the car

with a gun

to your head

DO NOT DRIVE OFF,

repeat:

DO NOT DRIVE OFF!

Instead gun the engine

and speed into anything, wrecking the car.

Your Air Bag will save you.

If the person is in the back seat

they will get the worst of it .

As soon as the car crashes

bail out and run.

It is better than having them find your body

in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting

into your car in a parking lot,

or parking garage:

A.) Be aware:

look around you,

look into your car,

at the passenger side floor ,

and in the back seat

B.) If you are parked next to a big van,

enter your car from the passenger door.

Most serial killers attack their victims

by pulling them into their vans while the women

are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car

parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,

and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone

in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back

into the mall, or work, and get a

guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

(And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator

instead of the stairs.

(Stairwells are horrible places to be alone

and the perfect crime spot.

This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun

and you are not under his control,

ALWAYS RUN!

The predator will only hit you (a running target)

4 in 100 times; And even then,

it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.

RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying

to be sympathetic:

STOP

It may get you raped, or killed.

Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,

well educated man, who ALWAYS played

on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.

He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often

asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle,

which is when he abducted
his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point:

Someone just told me that her friend heard

a crying baby on her porch the night before last,

and she called the police because it was late

and she thought it was weird. The police told her

"Whatever you do, DO NOT

open the door."

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby

had crawled near a window, and she was worried

that it would crawl to the street and get run over.

The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way,

whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."

He told her that they think a serial killer

has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax

women out of their homes thinking that someone

dropped off a baby He said they have not verified it,

but have had several calls by women saying that

they hear baby's cries outside their doors

when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door

for a crying baby ----

This e-mail should be taken seriously because

the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on

America 's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled

the serial killer in Louisiana

Posted by LilLadyReg at 12:35 AM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Saturday Night....
 

sam the sham and the pharaohs - Wooly Bully: Bobby Goldsboro - Honey: J. Frank Wilson and The Cavaliers - Last Kiss: McCoys - Hang on Sloopy: Carole King - You've Got A Friend:
Posted by LilLadyReg at 6:44 PM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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