"NOUVEAU SPOILED" into new century There was a time when the term "nouveau riche" was bandied about with great frequency as folks from the lower and middle classes began finding ways to climb into the upper classes. As we near the millennium, I've got a feeling that term has faded out of fashion. I propose that in its place we consider a new term: "nouveau spoiled." Before you get defensive, let me acknowledge that I am probably a charter member of that new class. How do you know if you're a member of the "nouveau spoiled" class of the 1990's? Take the following test. if you answer yes to two or more questions, you can expect your membership papers in the mail. Have you ever complained that it's hard to tell between the rings on your phone, line, the kids' phone line and fax phone line? In the old days, our parents' only complaint was having to share a party line with chatty neighbors. Have you ever grumbled about not being able to remember which remote works with which electronic entertainment device? When I was a kid, my parents had five channel changers. But we all grew up and moved away. Have you ever muttered something about not having enough cup holders in your new car? God gave us two good hands...one to drive with and the other to hold cups. Have you ever squawked because your bag of Redenbacher's burns when you use the "popcorn" button on your microwave? Boy, we've come a long way from the wood stove. Have you ever gone to the video store and wondered why they can't make enough good movies to keep up with your viewing habits? it wasn't all that long ago that my brothers and I considered ourselves lucky when mom and dad would haul us to the local drive-in theater when they offered "carload" specials. Have you ever groused about having to use the "other" bathroom because your spouse was taking her sweet time in master suite facilities? Need I mention that we aren't all that far removed from the days of outdoor facilities? Have you ever suffered through a few days without air conditioning in the middle of the summer? Don't go crying on grandma's shoulder. Have you ever popped off about the lack of a modem connection in your hotel room? Hey, it seems like just last week we were singing the praises of the new fax machines they were introducing. Have you ever fussed about your pre-Pentium computer's lack of speed? Yeah, and how fast do you think my slide rule worked back in the good old days?   The Results Be honest. How many times did you answer "yes" to the questions above? I think it's fair to say that many of you passed with flying colors and are ready to join the ranks of the "nouveau spoiled." I, for one, see no ignominy in admitting that I've been spoiled by all of the modern conveniences listed above...and then some. I quite enjoy sitting down in my air-conditioned living room with a remote in one hand and a bunch of micro-popped corn in the other hand while watching the latest releases from the video store. Don't you?